“We are doing something we love and helping make a difference,” says foster mum Cheryl

Cheryl is 54 and from Neston. She is a foster carer for Cheshire West and Chester Council. She has been fostering for eleven months.

Why did you become a foster carer?

“We aren’t able to have our own children and felt that we still had a much to offer to a child and help make a difference. It sounds corny, but it’s true. We have a fabulous support network of family and friends who we know we can trust to help support and encourage us.”

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your family?

“At home there is me and Martin. We have a dog and a cat. I work as a caregiver 11 hours a week and Martin works full time, self employed. We are close to our sisters, nieces and nephews. As a couple, we walk a lot with Dudley our dog, going to the woods, beaches and large fields by where we live. We love to watch films at the cinema and enjoy treats at local restaurants.”

How many children have you fostered and what types of fostering have you done?

“We are approved as short-term carers. We offer respite to other carers in our local authority. Since being approved we have had 16 children. We were originally approved for 2 children 0 -18 years. We have had this increased to 3 children (still 0 – 18yrs) as we have had sibling groups of 3.”

Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of becoming a foster carer or starting the process?

“Firstly, be honest with yourself about why you want to do it and make sure you can handle the emotional challenges that will come with it. If you are in a relationship, speak honestly and openly with your partner too before starting the process. It is absolutely vital you are both committed and have an understanding about where each of you is coming from / wants. Speak to your family and friends too – those closest to you who may be your support network.

“There is a definite impact on your life when the children are with you and it does change the dynamics in your home and with those around you. You have to be 100% committed. Along with this, don’t be afraid to speak with your local authority. We have had nothing but positive experiences right from the start… with absolutely no pressure to commit until we were ready. Make the call, you’ve got nothing to lose and a whole lot of reward waiting to happen.”

What have been the positives of fostering?

“It is honestly so rewarding. Even the challenging days – there is always a positive. I have learned a lot too with good courses available and met some new friends who are existing carers. I have managed and coped with scenarios I never thought I’d be able to and so my confidence with each placement grows. Martin and I also do different days out with the children than we usually would and enjoy crafts and baking – it’s fun doing something different that is making a difference to a child’s life. CWaC professionals have been really supportive all the way through our process and our SSW gives us some much support.”

What have been the challenges?

“At first it was stressful, being new we wanted to make sure that we were doing everything right all the time. Staying focused and remaining conscientious regarding safeguarding / safe care takes some getting used to.”

What changes have you seen in the children you have fostered?

“We have had a lot of children in the last year, ages from 4 – 17yrs. One group of three siblings in particular, we have had for respite three times now. Their trust in us each time they come is growing and this is wonderful for us. They are happy, relaxed and excited to see us. This continuity is so important.”

What small things have made a big impact?

“Lots of them. Here are just three examples… having children who think they are ‘rubbish’ at art and then creating a piece they are proud of. Watching a child try three times to walk / balance on a low fallen trunk and achieving it by themselves and then giving the biggest ‘hurrah’ and smile. Making a difference to a carer by giving them a break from a young person and seeing how grateful they are, knowing this helps save a placement.”

What impact has fostering had on your family?

“Fostering has had a positive impact in our home. We are saddened by how many children are in care but amazed just how resilient the children can be. Martin and I really enjoy what we are doing. We feel fulfilled and happy that we are doing something we love and helping make a difference to children, young people and carers lives. It’s brought a wealth of experiences into our lives.”

How do you find the support we give you? Do you have close relationships with other foster carers?

“We have been nothing but impressed with the support and information from CWaC from the start of our journey. Our Assessing SSW was brilliant at taking us through the process and our SSW always picks up / returns a call or email promptly and just gives us so much confidence.

“I go to the support group when I can and really enjoy these – meeting more experienced carers has been invaluable for me. I have made good friends with some of these through the groups. The SSW who runs them too makes them relaxed but informative. Well worth attending.”

Do you have any pets? If you do, please tell us a bit about them? How do they help the children you foster?

“We have a dog and a cat. Our dog, Dudley is a 5 year old cockapoo. He is so well natured and really intuitive with the children. He sits with them if they are sad and loves to play with them out on the fields. All of the children have been drawn to him. Our cat, Boo, is 14. She is an old soul and if a child sits quietly she will go on their lap, if it’s too noisy she runs away. We talk to the children about having ‘kind hands’ and how best to approach the pets. Both pets have a calming influence.”

If you would like to become a foster carer, please request an information pack and make an enquiry today at www.foster4.co.uk/enquire