Celebrating Sons & Daughters Month

Every October, we nationally recognise the important role foster carer’s sons and daughters play in welcoming fostered children into their families.  Read some of the inspiring experiences of people who grew up in fostering households below.

Sasha’s story

Sasha lives in Orford in Warrington and was 13 years old when her parents decided to become foster carers. Now in her 30’s, Sasha vividly remembers the foster children that came to stay with her family and has some fond memories of growing up in a household with foster siblings, many from very different backgrounds from herself.

Sasha recalls when her Mum first told her she was going to be a foster carer; “I remember my younger brother and I sat down and had a big chat with Mum and Dad about her decision to foster and what it might be like for the family. Fostering meant that Mum could have more of a homebased lifestyle, be around more for her own children while also caring for other children that may not have a stable or loving home life like we did.”

Sasha goes on to say; “Mum initially offered long term placements for children but over the years also provided respite for other carers and mother and baby placements. Around 30 foster children in total have come to stay, sometimes just for a few days, other times for months and even years. In that time I learned that not all children were as lucky as myself and my brother, it really opened my eyes to some of the neglect and abuse that some children experience. I remember one boy would take food out of our kitchen bin as this was how he’d been used to finding his food. It really taught me not to judge anyone and to be more accepting of others.”

Now married with three children of her own and a step-daughter, Sasha is grateful for the experience of growing up surrounded by foster siblings. She feels it had made her a much more patient and relaxed person, able to let go of things that she sees are perhaps less important. She says; “I try and take a gentle approach to life and not let small things bother me so much. My Mum was always very patient with the foster children who stayed with us, even when they were particularly challenging or disruptive and I’m pleased that I have inherited this quality with my own children too.”

Sasha really values her childhood growing up in a fostering household and now regularly attends Foster4 Information Sessions to talk to potential foster carers answering questions about fostering and giving an insight into what it’s like to grow up in a fostering household.

Dayna’s story

Dayna was about 16 years old when her Mum decided to become a foster carer. She was initially worried about the impact fostering would have on herself and if she would receive less of her Mum’s attention. Dayna’s mother, Wendy explained; “I received really good training and support throughout the fostering process and that enabled me to talk to my family and discuss the impact fostering would mean for all of us. This really helped Dayna prepare for our first foster placement and feel more confident about it”. Dayna also joined a Sons and Daughters Support Group and was introduced to another child whose parents fostered, so she had someone to confide in and share her experiences with.

Dayna’s Mother briefly fostered a young boy before going on to foster two brothers, who she still cares for over seven years later. Dayna explains; “it was difficult at first as the boys were much younger than me and I was shocked by how few social skills they had. They had been left to fend for themselves before being taken into care and didn’t even know how to use a knife and fork. Gradually they became used to their new life and the positive changes in them was fantastic to see. I consider them to be very much part of our family, I go out with them shopping and to the cinema and my husband Johnny and I provide respite for Mum when the boys will come and stay with us at weekends and during school holidays.” Dayna goes on to say; “The boys and I have developed a really good and genuine friendship and I’m so proud that I have played a part in helping them settle into a safe and stable family life”.

Early this year, Dayna and Johnathan became approved foster carers with Foster4 and now care for a young boy who is settling in with his foster family quickly and regularly sees and plays with Dayna’s two foster siblings. Dayna says both her time as the daughter of a foster carer and the experience of having foster brothers has inspired her to become a foster carer herself. “My mum has been a real inspiration and seeing the many positive aspects of her role and the tremendous benefits she has given to those children who don’t always have the best start in life, meant the decision to become a foster carer myself was a natural one.

I would encourage anyone considering being a foster carer to do their research, talk to other foster carers and find out as much as possible about this rewarding role, contacting Foster4 is a great start!”