“Just take that first step and talk to somebody,” says foster carer Erica

Erica is a foster carer from Chester. She is 53 and has been fostering for four years. Her foster daughter describes her as: “Very lovely and kind. She helps me with my problems. Erica is the only person who has learned about me and can understand me.”

Why did you become a foster carer? 

“I had always wanted to foster from a very young age, so when my children had grown up it became my time to fulfil my dream.”

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your family?

“I am a single mum of 3 grown up children who now live away from the family home. I work full time for a charity as a Community Engagement Officer. We have lots of pets, 3 cats, 1 dog and a rabbit. When we get together as a family we like going on long walks, visiting national trust sites, going to other cities and doing the ‘tourist’ bits and cooking and eating all together. “

How many children have you fostered and what types of fostering have you done? 

“Over 4 years I have fostered 5 young people in a variety of respite, short term and long term care. In my house currently, there is me, my long term foster child and the pets.”

Do you have any advice for anyone thinking of becoming a foster carer or starting the process?

“Just take that first step and talk to somebody. There is loads of support for you and so many different ways to care for young people that will fit around your own commitments and family. There will be days you’ll find challenging, but when you put that young person to bed at night and they’re safe and warm, it’s the best feeling in the world.”

 What have been the positives of fostering?

“I have learnt so much about myself! I have achieved things I didn’t think I could and supported young people through things I would have thought impossible before all of the training you can access. I have met some incredibly strong little people and made some life long friends along the way.”

What have been the challenges?

“Watching a young person in distress and wishing you just had a magic wand. Dealing with the behaviour displayed when you have had a long day and feel tired yourself. That’s when the TCI (Therapeutic Crisis Intervention) training comes in handy and you step back and check in with yourself.”

What changes have you seen in the children you have fostered?

“I have seen them develop aspirations for the future. One young person had a 42% school attendance when they came to live with me and no desire to stay on post 16. During their time with me 2 of my children were in university and we visited them a number of times. By the time my young person went back home they were talking about which university they would like to attend after college.

“Fostering gives a young person a different view of their world and opens the doors to other options. My young person was a little ball of fire and rage but now can sit and talk about their feelings and how we can make things better rather than throwing my fruit bowl around the living room. Eating habits have been altered by allowing the children in my care to be involved with the shopping and cooking. ”

What small things have made a big impact?

“Listening without judging I found made the biggest difference with my young people. Validating their feelings and trusting them with responsibilities helps build their self-confidence and enabled them to become more resilient when dealing with difficult situations.”

 What have been your best memories so far?

“My first young person going back to her birth family where she so desperately wanted to be. My young person meeting her mum for the first time in 4 years and then the sister she had never met. One young person getting an award in school for 100% attendance after being a school refuser. There are so many, some big and some as small as my little person tripping over a stone walking home from school and not having a complete meltdown about it because they trusted me to make it better for them.”

What impact has fostering had on your family?

“It has brought a whole new dimension into our family dynamics. My children love spending time with our extra family when they come home. It’s made Christmas a very magical time again having a young person in the house and they love to hear about her achievements in school and clubs. Two of my children have since changed career paths and now support young people with special needs in schools and can take a deeper understanding of child development and trauma into their daily role.”

How do you find the support we give you? Do you have close relationships with other foster carers?

“I could not do this role without the continuous support from my child’s social worker and my supervising social worker. They are always there to talk things through and find a solution. I have good connections with other carers who I met through support groups and training courses. The wider support from EDT, virtual school and therapy workers has also been incredible.”

If you would like to become a foster carer, please request an information pack and make an enquiry today at www.foster4.co.uk/enquire