LGBT+ Adoption and Fostering Week 2022

7th- 15th March is LGBT+ Adoption and Fostering Week 2022

The annual campaign, organised by LGBT+ family advocacy group New Family Social, aims to encourage more members of the LGBT+ community to adopt and foster children.

This year’s campaign theme is Be The Change. Each year, we chat with some of our incredible LGBT+ Foster4 foster carers about their experiences.

Today, we’re catching up with Gemma, who fosters with her partner Nancy, who we also featured last year. Gemma and Nancy provide long term (permanent) foster care for 3 children in West Cheshire.

What made you want to make a difference and be foster carers?

When I came out of the Army it was something I really wanted to do. I was open to caring and supporting any children of all ages and from there it went from strength and strength.

In Iraq I saw disadvantaged children, when I returned to the UK I felt so helpless that I couldn’t help those children so thought I would look into how I could help in my own country, and started to look into fostering.

Tell us about the positive impact you’ve had on the children in your care?

My biggest achievement in fostering has been looking after the 3 children and young people currently in our care. It has been rewarding building a family around them and making them belong, making them understand right and wrong and letting them have lots of fun.

We have been caring for 3 siblings (2 boys and 1 girl) for 2 and a half years. They have some complex needs, so we need to dig deep and work hard to support them.

The young people thank us every day for giving them a starting chance in life. One of the children in particular was withdrawn when they came and now they have so many friends and are popular in the community and with peers at school. This young person has really embraced everything that has come from being in foster care. We have worked so hard with their education. One of the biggest difficulties with one of our children was non-attendance and non-engagement at school, we’ve achieved that and now they are fully engaged and work alongside school. They’ve developed coping mechanisms and know that they can seek their support when feeling low and struggling to cope.

Do you have any advice for members of the LGBT+ community who are thinking about fostering?

Fostering is for everyone. And there’s a type of fostering for everyone. For us, fostering a sibling group who needed long-term (permeant) fostering has been the most amazing a way of growing our family, which we spoke about when you interviewed us last year. Short term fostering, i.e.: caring for different children and young people, who may return to their families perhaps, is also another great route- it just depends what you’re hoping to do really.

I’d say keep an open mind, and always remember it’s not their fault they’re there. Don’t expect anything to be really good or bad as you’re going to have ups and downs. It’s the highs that are really rewarding but also the lows you are building trust with them and they’re allowing you to experience that with them.

Any opportunity to help even if offering day care/respite, no matter how small you could make a difference. The rewards outweigh absolutely everything else.

What kind of support do you access?

Our supervising social worker is one person I really trust.  She’s amazing and supports us with everything from organising training, to ensuring we have all the equipment we need, to supporting us with schools etc. Importantly, she makes sure our needs as care givers are met too, not just the children’s, which is so important.

A big source of support is actually our own life experience – you can’t buy that or learn it in training. As I was in care myself when I was younger, I often understand the young people a lot more than anyone else. I understand what they are going through and transitions. I was not open with them at first but when one of our children was struggling and asked me how I know so much we had a heart to heart where I explained that I know what it’s like and my own experiences came out, we were then on a level pegging and he now comes to me for anything and really trusts me.

 Thanks Gemma, we’re thrilled you, Nancy and the children are thriving together.

You can read last year’s interview with Gemma and Nancy here: Meet LGBT+ Foster Carers Gemma and Nancy (foster4.co.uk)

If you’re LGBTQ+ and think fostering could be for you, request an information pack and make an enquiry today at www.foster4.co.uk/enquire