7 Questions to ask yourself before becoming a foster carer

Fostering is an incredibly rewarding role that uses your skills with children to provide a safe, stable and nurturing family environment for children who cannot live with their own family.

We are often told that people have considered fostering for many years before applying to become a foster carer. Whilst fostering can be rewarding it can also have challenges. We appreciate it’s a big decision to make and we are here to answer anything you might want to know during your decision making process.

It’s important that you do lots of research about becoming a foster carer, you can learn more by requesting an information pack via Enquire – Foster 4, attending an Info Sessions – Foster 4 and reading our Blogs – Foster 4.

There are a few things we think you should take into consideration before making any decisions.

1. Do I meet the requirements?

Foster carers are ordinary people, just like you, doing an extraordinary role. Fostering families come in all shapes and sizes, there really is no such thing as the ‘ideal’ foster carer. There is no age limit but you do need to be an adult with some life skills and experience. Each Local Authority has different criteria and demand so we will talk to you in more detail about your Local Authority.

2. Do I have the time to foster?

It’s important to consider your current responsibilities and how fostering would fit into your life. Depending on the needs and age of children it may be possible to work full-time, but you would need to be very flexible. Being a foster carer is in-depth role, you will need to take children to and from school, appointments and family time, attend meetings, training and support groups. It works well for people who can manage their own diary, who can work from home or are self-employed. It is often possible to work and foster, particularly if caring for school-age children or teenagers. Under 5’s require a full time foster carer so someone that does not work.

“Firstly, be honest with yourself about why you want to do it and make sure you can handle the emotional challenges that will come with it. If you are in a relationship, speak honestly and openly with your partner too before starting the process. It is absolutely vital you are both committed and have an understanding about where each of you is coming from / wants. Speak to your family and friends too – those closest to you who may be your support network.

“There is a definite impact on your life when the children are with you and it does change the dynamics in your home and with those around you. You have to be 100% committed. Along with this, don’t be afraid to speak with your local authority. We have had nothing but positive experiences right from the start… with absolutely no pressure to commit until we were ready. Make the call, you’ve got nothing to lose and a whole lot of reward waiting to happen.” Cheryl, foster carer with Cheshire West and Chester Council.

3. Am I prepared for the process?

To be approved as a foster carer, you have to go through a fostering assessment. As part of the fostering assessment you’ll receive regular visits from your assessing social worker. They will get to know you well; exploring your life and work experiences, past relationships and interests. It is a thorough process to prepare you for the challenges and rewards fostering brings; it also allows the fostering service to understand what you could bring to fostering and which children would be best suited to your family.

During this time, necessary police, health and local authority checks will be completed and they will also contact your references. We aim to have you assessed and approved as a foster carer within 4-6 months of receiving your application form. The timeframe can vary depending on your availability and how quickly your checks and references are completed.

“The process can seem long but does give a very good insight into what is expected. It can also be quite an emotional process.” Julie and John, foster carers with Warrington Borough Council.

4. Is it the right time for my family to foster?

It’s important that the whole family are on board with fostering. Having a foster child in your care means sharing your family home with them. It can take time for birth children to adjust as they will have to learn to share their home, toys and parents with other children. In the long term fostering can be beneficial for everyone, we just think it’s important you start conversations with your birth children early on and discuss how you might navigate those first few months.

“It has given my birth children an understanding of why some children behave the way they do and that we don’t always know what’s going on in a person’s life. It’s taught them to be kind and empathetic.” Kate, foster carer with Halton Borough Council.

5. Do I have a good support network?

You will be providing a safe, stable and nurturing family environment for children who cannot live with their own family. Children may come into care for many reasons but often they are unable to live with their family due to experiencing abuse or neglect. You may see the impact of traumatic childhood experiences on a child’s health, behaviour and development but by providing a loving home you will be helping children to overcome their experiences, change their lives for the better and help them achieve their full potential. Our foster carers often tell us how rewarding fostering is and the difference they are making to a child’s life.

Providing care to children who may have experienced traumatic childhoods can be stressful at times. It’s important that you consider how you will cope when a child is displaying behaviours that are challenging. Foster carers need to be patient, understanding and have a certain level of resilience to persevere during difficult times. Children need time to develop healthy attachments and positive relationships with their foster carers and it’s important that you have a good support network of family and friends you can turn to for support when required. By attending training courses and support groups you will also build a support network of fellow foster carers. We also give our foster carers all the necessary support and training to know how to respond therapeutically to children.

6. Will I be able to say goodbye?

You may be a foster carer to a child for a short period or many years. There are different types of fostering you can chose from but no matter which type you offer there will be a time when the child moves on. They may move onto adoption or a long term foster carer, back to their family once any issues have been resolved or into independent living. It’s important to consider the situations you may need to prepare yourself for and how you will cope with these feelings. It’s only natural that you will get attached to the children in your care, after all, fostering is about forming secure attachments for children. There may be an opportunity for you to maintain a relationship with the child once they move on, through birth parents, adoptive parents or foster carers, although this is not a given.

“When the children move on it has a sad impact but this has been cushioned by the fact we know that the children are settled and happy. As a foster carer this is very important to know.” Ruth, foster carer with Cheshire West and Chester Council.

7. Can I open my heart and home to children?

As we have indicated, fostering can have its ups and down. People often say they want to foster because they have a lot of love to give to children in need. It’s vital that you have love to give and can provide care and support to enable children to thrive. Foster carers are in the unique position to be able to share some of the most important moments in a child’s life. Foster carers are there to celebrate achievements and have the pleasure of seeing children’s first experiences such as riding a bike and going on a holiday.

For Gillian, a foster carer with Warrington Borough Council she says the positives of fostering have been “getting to welcome children into our home and watching them thrive and grow into wonderful young people. My best memory was seeing my foster son graduate from University top of his class – wow, what a moment that was!”

Deciding to become a foster carer will take lots of time and plenty of consideration, as with most big decisions. However if you can answer ‘yes’ to most of the questions above, it’s likely you would make a brilliant foster carer.

We understand you may still have questions about fostering after reading this blog. We’re happy to answer any questions you may have and you can also take a look at our fostering FAQ’s. We can be contacted via telephone 01925 444100, email fosteringrecruitment@warrington.gov.uk or you can complete an enquiry form on our website.